Bloodlines

Chapter 16: My son turns 16 today

My son turns 16 today.

I’ve figured out what to say when I phone him; decided it’s best to keep it simple. If the call goes to voice message I’ll say something like this:

Hi Sid, it’s Dad.

I’m ringing to wish you Happy Birthday. 

I hope you’re well. And hope you have fun today, whatever your plans.

I’d love to hear from you.

Talk to you later.

Lots of love. Goodbye for now ...

Sid and I share a lifetime story.  

We had a relationship that I didn’t expect would break, in part because the relationship I had with my own father, Kel, never did, nor did the relationship Kel had with his father. History was on our side. Above all, we had love and trust.

For the first seven years, Sid and I knew each other as father and son and we shared a lot of good times.

But conditions changed between his parents and myself, and the conversation soured:

‘Hi Sid, it’s Dad. How are you?’

‘You’re not my dad’.

In the background, a parental voice elaborated: ‘He’s not your dad, he’s just your donor, and he’s a dud.’

The rancour intensified. A big freeze set in. Court judgements solved nothing.

Nine years have passed since the good times ended. Will this year see us make a new start?

Sid, I wish for that as much as I wish you a Happy Birthday. Being your father is a privilege I’ll never walk away from and it’s something no-one needs to fear.

A pop song from the late ’70s by Australian band The Reels has jumped into mind as I write this. It’s called ‘Love Will Find A Way’.  A friend and flatmate, Tony, used to play it all the time and it’s in my head now for obvious reasons.

Sid: for your 16th birthday, I’d like to restore music and joy to our relationship. I would like you to know the love I have for you is always and forever. I hope we find a way.

Happy Birthday,

Dad. xx